I can still vividly remember the first time I encountered God. Maybe it wasn't the first time, but it's the time the mention of that Word had a huge impact. FEAR.
It was my first year of primary school and we were assembled before going into respective classes. I don't remember the exact words she used, but the head mistress told us about this all powerful judge sitting on his throne with a big book recording all our sins. I don't know if it was on judgement day or the day we die, but this book would be opened at the Pearly gates and the sinners would be thrown into the eternal fire of hell. Scary stuff!
Since that day I feared God. I have to admit this fear of God helped me in a lot of ways as I started to transform myself. I had to be in His good books, but that also instilled another evil in my heart; guilt. There is so much pressure to sin. Because of that we are doomed and one might even believe that they are not a worthy human.
I decided I would gather as much information as possible about God so that I would know as much as possible about what he hates and what he loves. As time went on I discovered the Bible(what a book!) and it took me on one hell of a spiritual journey. It was a torn Bible with most of the pages missing which a cousin oblivious of the contents had helped deteriorate.
The first book I read was Daniel and I was hooked. Unfortunately I ran out of pages to read, but not before discovering that we may be wasting time worshiping God because he had his own chosen people. It seemed God was only concerned about the Israelites and he would send them on a mission to eliminate other people just to prove his might. Maybe I didn't understand something but with my spirits sagging, I decided to stop reading further.
I would later read the Bible again years later after hearing about Jesus the merciful and inclusive Son of God. This time around I read from Genesis to Revelations. I remember while others were studying their school notes I would be reading this captivating book.
In the New Testament I discovered that we were not doomed simply because of race. By this time God had turned against some of his chosen Children in anger and was only protective to the sons of Judah. In fact he had gotten tired of their sacrifices too and sent his son to be the mother of all sacrifices. This sounds like a God who loves humanity more that his own son. Faced with that terrible fate, Jesus prayed to God to take this terrible affliction from him but it seems God didn't listen because Jesus was killed anyway.
Let me stop here before I try to build Rome in a day. The journey into the rabbit hole continues in the next post.
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